1. A gentleman never tells
No gossiping, spreading scandalous rumours or speaking ill of others. A real gent always protects the integrity of both himself and people around him — so that means you keep any affairs or confrontations a tight-lipped secret. Because nobody likes a bad-mouth.
2. A gentleman knows that anything worth having is worth working hard for
Shortcuts, free rides — those tiny samples of aftershave that come stuck to pages of magazines – these have no place in a gentleman’s world. Work for your luxuries, and your achievements will taste even sweeter. You only get what you give, and rightly so.
3. A gentleman knows how to dance
Not too much — no-one likes to see a grown man moonwalking at a family wedding. You need just fine enough footwork to confidently hold the floor. Romantic dances, too, are worth your attention. Master even the simplest steps and you’ll be one up from the man on the street.
4. A gentleman helps any woman with her baggage
When a gentleman spots another person — man, woman, young, elderly — struggling with something heavy, they help them with it. It could be in an airport, a train station, the stairwell in your building. Wherever. Just drop whatever you’re doing (and whatever you’re holding) and ask them if they want some assistance.
5. A gentleman always RSVPs
You should never, ever leave your nearest and dearest hanging. Reply promptly, whether it’s a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’. If someone has been good enough to invite you, you should be good enough to reply. Oh, and if you can make it, be sure to bring the party when you arrive…
6. A gentleman knows the difference between confidence and arrogance
Arrogance: President Trump barrelling into this latest election without even considering he may lose. Confidence: James Bond strolling through the front door of a villain’s lair so boldly that no-one even dares to question him. Be like Bond.
7. A gentleman is open-minded
Sharp wit can win any argument, but an intelligent gentleman knows the benefits of listening to the views of others. He is never stubborn, and always prepared to learn, to develop and broaden his world view. And this applies across the board — from olives (always delicious) to unchecked market deregulation (sketchy at best).
8. A gentleman constantly proves that chivalry is not dead
Because it isn’t — especially if you look in the right places. It may be different to antiquated ideas of chivalry, but the concept is still very much around. Essentially, chivalry can be chalked up to good manners, empathy and the capacity to forgive.
9. A gentleman should go out his way to never make anyone cry
Unless it’s tears of happiness from that vintage Jaguar you surprised her with for your anniversary. (See also, chopping onions.)
10. A gentleman never lies to a woman
This shouldn’t be gender specific, really. Liars are bad eggs — full stop. The only time they are acceptable are when a) they involve Father Christmas or b) a woman has had a questionable visit to a hair salon. She knows it’s bad. You know it’s bad. She knows you know it’s bad. Say it looks wonderful, and move on.
11. A gentleman doesn’t always make the first move
As we said, chivalry isn’t dead; it’s evolved. So whether it’s the first move, last move, or any number of in-between moves, it doesn’t really matter who made it. As long as you’re both fully consenting adults and you’re in the moment, just be happy you found each other.
12. A gentleman means what he says and says what he means
Don’t garble your words, gents. No doublespeak, no jargon, no having to read between the lines — a real gentleman gets to the point. And, while that is never an excuse for rudeness or insensitivity, you should appreciate that tactful honesty is always the best policy.
13. For a lady, a gentleman always offers his seat and opens the door
This time-honoured gentlemanly gesture has become problematic in the modern world. For us, it’s straight-up good manners, a spot of politeness worthy of being preserved. Some may not feel that way — but we’d rather inadvertently offend with kindness than annoy with discourtesy.
14. A gentleman never judges
Fast judgements say more about the person making them than those being judged. As the old adage goes: never judge a book by its cover — but rather hold your opinions for when you’re a couple of illuminating chapters in…
15. A gentleman is always well-presented
No matter the company, occasion or top secret mission, dress like it’s your last day on earth. If there’s something hanging in your wardrobe you wouldn’t be happy wearing forever, get rid of it.
16. A gentleman has a firm handshake and always makes eye contact
Weak grips and averted gazes are huge no-nos. Your handshake (when we’re allowed to swap our elbow-bumps back for them) is like your signature; it tells people the content of your character immediately.
17. A gentleman always offers his coat to a lady
It’s another door-holding conundrum. But, if you’re close enough to a lady that you can see her shivering, you’re probably well-acquainted enough with her to offer your coat. And, after all, sacrificing one’s comfort is an act of undeniable attentiveness and selflessness.
18. A gentleman knows how to cook
Being able to prepare one good, full meal should be the bare minimum. Start simply, and work your way up to more adventurous cuisine. It’s a charming skill to have — and being a Michelin-starred man will endear you to man, beast and in-laws alike.
19. A gentleman always walks a woman home
It’s not old-fashioned, it’s good manners. Take her to the door, and wait till she’s safely inside. (Standing out in the rain two hours later waiting for her bedroom light to go off: not so gentlemanly.)
20. A gentleman always offers to pay
“I’ll get this one” is one of the most important phrases at your gentlemanly disposal. Be it a date, business lunch, or catch-up with friends, be the first to offer to pay the bill. Better still, find the waiter, and settle it before it even comes to the table.
Original article from Gentleman’s Journal
In the old day of knights and knighthood it was chivalry that set knights apart from other men and perhaps the modern day gentleman and the way he carries himself is an ode to a system that made a man stand out and with refined qualities that have been passed down to this day’s modern gentleman.
Chivalry is: the medieval knightly system with its religious, moral, and social code. the combination of qualities expected of an ideal knight, especially courage, honor, courtesy, justice, and a readiness to help the weak.
- Serving the lord faithfully.
- Aiding orphans and widows.
- Refraining from malicious offenses.
- Refusing and abhorring monetary awards.
- Living for glory.
- Guarding the honor of fellow knights.
- but never refusing a challenge from an equal.
- Completing any task or challenge that has been started.
- Always speaking the truth.
In regards to clothing, Wikihow suggests the following:
Wear flattering clothes. Wear clothes that fit your body well, eliminate flashy clothing and avoid fashion “faux pas” (e.g. baseball hats cocked slightly to the side). A simpler wardrobe will keep the emphasis on you, not your clothes, which will change your appearance. Keep it simple, and you’ll look elegant and gentlemanly.
- Stick to subdued blacks, grays, blues and browns. A gentleman can actually wear any color in moderation, ( Can also wear jacket and jeans.) but the classic colors for men are not bright.
- Choose classic clothing for men. Examples include suits, oxford-style shirts, khaki pants, Jacket, Jeans.
- Wear athletic clothes only for workouts or athletics. A gentleman will not wear his suit while hiking through the Alps, or practicing for his black belt, or playing tennis. But he will avoid wearing his tennis clothes unless he is going to, from, or playing tennis.
- What is considered “flashy” will vary from culture to culture, and situation. A white linen suit and pink shirt may be fashionable on a tropical island, but be regarded as quite flashy at a corporate board meeting in England.
- It’s very important to wear pants that fit you. Make sure to hold your pants up with a nice simple belt to show that you’ve really put a lot of thought into your look.
- The next time you need a suit, make sure you get measured for one instead of picking one out yourself. A true gentleman makes an effort with his appearance and goes the extra mile to wear well-fitting clothes. Wearing a suit that actually fits you instead of one that is one, two or even three sizes too big, will also help show that you put a lot of thought into your look.
- Always make sure your shoes are clean. Some people say that shoes are the first thing a lady notices when talking to a man. A quick (but effective) brush can make a world of difference. Most importantly, clean shoes show that take into consideration the people who will have to look at them once you leave your home.
- It’s also important to wear the right clothes for the occasion. Try to stick to appropriate dress codes, whether wearing business casual clothes for work, or to wear formal wear for a wedding. And keep in mind that it’s better to be slightly overdressed than underdressed.
Groom yourself well. To be a true gentleman, you have to make sure your hair is regularly combed and that you either make a point of shaving your facial hair or that you maintain a nice, solid beard. Avoid the stubble and go for a nice clean shave every morning, or you will look sloppy. Keep a comb handy so you can run it through your hair (in private) if your hair gets windswept or loses volume after a long day.
- Even having clean nails makes a difference. Clean under your fingernails and trim them every day or two to make sure your hands have a neat appearance.
- Trim any protruding nose hairs to maintain a groomed look.
Don’t say anything negative about her or him to your friends. If you really want to be a true gentleman, then you should never say anything negative about the girl or guy you’re dating to your friends. You may think it’s cool to complain about them or to act like you’re really not into him or her, but this is incredibly lame and disrespectful behavior that will get back to your partner and make you look pathetic. The only time you talk about your partner to your friends is to praise him or her or to genuinely ask for their advice in a given situation.
- The key to being a gentleman is to have respect for all people. There’s nothing more disrespectful than airing you and your partner’s dirty laundry just to get some laughs.
Don’t talk about yourself too much. You can tell people enough to let them know a little bit about you, at first, but you should wait to really reveal every last thing about yourself. In addition to making you a much more desirable conversationalist, it will make you seem more mysterious to not share too much, which many women find attractive. Get a basic idea of what’s going on in music, sports, and politics so you can sound intelligent when you make conversation. Be sure about subjects you state are important to you by making the effort to stay up-to-date on them.
- Instead, focus on asking people questions about their interests, hobbies, and plans. Let them know that you’re more interested in them than yourself.
From “awaken the greatness within“ comes 35 inspirational quotes to inspire and motivate anyone wanting to be a better person.
Being A Gentleman – The True Gentleman is the man whose conduct proceeds from good will and an acute sense of propriety, and whose self-control is equal to all emergencies; who does not make the poor man conscious of his poverty, the obscure man of his obscurity, or any man of his inferiority or deformity; who is himself humbled if necessity compels him to humble another; who does not flatter wealth, cringe before power, or boast of his own possessions or achievements; who speaks with frankness but always with sincerity and sympathy; whose deed follows his word; who thinks of the rights and feelings of others, rather than his own; and who appears well in any company, a man with whom honour is sacred and virtue safe. May these quotes inspire you to be a gentleman and a man of action. (click for article and quotes)
How To Be A Gentleman In Your Personal And Professional Life
We live in uncivil times. From our relationships to politics and business, it seems as though the longstanding expectation of decorum has given way to our more impetuous, brutish, and petty inclinations.
I suppose it only makes sense. As a society, we accepted and celebrated this behavior in our chosen forms of entertainment. It was just a matter of time until that acceptance bled into our daily lives.
The political implications of this boorishness are plain to see, and I don’t feel the need to explore them any further. Instead, I’d like to focus on business and the breakdown of civility that I’ve witnessed over the past few years.
The problem is difficult to articulate, but I’ll do my best. Professionals seem to be increasingly on edge. It’s as though our society has passed the point of no return and the underlying trust upon which it was built has evaporated.
I’ve witnessed this firsthand, with clients, vendors, and external partners always poised to see the worst in a situation, distrustful and disingenuous with nearly everyone they encounter. Tempers are shorter, expectations are higher, and compassion is in increasingly short supply. Read the rest here at Forbes.com.